Just kick me

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Nine Ladies Dancing

Eight Fans Applauding,

Seven Monkey Puppets,

Six Hours Practice

Five Funny Jokes

(Ja)eff Dunham Tickets,

Three Good Springs,

Two Moving Eyebrows,

And a full-sized ventriloquist dummy.

***

Please note that the "nine ladies dancing" mentioned above are not the same nine ladies dancing from the pedestrian version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Because any aspiring ventriloquist dreams of one day playing Radio City Music Hall, the only question is whether the ventriloquist is opening for the Rockettes, or the Rockettes are opening for the ventriloquist.

As the song dates back to England in the 1840s, and the Rockettes were founded in America in 1925, the dancing ladies in the pedestrian version where obviously not the Rockettes. This makes my "nine ladies" being the Rockettes very original, if not more original than the proported original.

Go ahead. Argue with that logic.

Dare ya.