Fort Mecca?

It's started! It's happening!  The conVENTion!

Well, it's happening if you're reading this and it's past 3:30 pm eastern time. And even then, it's only registration time.  If you're reading this around 7 pm, that's when the big hoopla really starts.

The Vent Haven ConVENTion site is is slick and very informative place to read more about the big ventriloquist convention (which I am covering from Hudson, Wisconsin) , but I'll tell you what you'll find out -  This conVENTion has it all, workshops, lectures, round tables, square tables... EVERYTHING! 

For me, would be really stepping out and making "the big trip."  It might as well be in Poland or Brazil or one of the moons of Jupiter, it would be such a travel adventure. So I was thinking - maybe I should learn about the host city - Fort Mitchell, Kentucky. I do like to make the most out of every venture out.

Fort Mitchell is a self-described bedroom community of Cincinnati, Ohio. With a population of about 8,000, the city appears proud of its historical background.

Here's something that surprises me, though.  You'd think that the city's website or the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce website would be splashing that the ConVENTion is in town. For civic pride! For commerce! For, as the kid's say on the web - The BUZZ!

So, I have a goal for when I attend my first ConVENTion:  I will write a welcoming song from the City of Fort Mitchell. It should sound like this song performed by Elvis Presley in the movie Girl Happy!



Lauderdale, Mitchell... it would work.

I think it would be even cooler if it was performed by ventriloquist dummies.  You could see it, can't you? The dummies might make it appear even more... today.

***

I want to apologize to my female regular readers for the gratuitous appearance of scantily clad women in this video.  But you have to acknowledge that those three sidekicks of Elvis are some real eye candy for ya, don't you? You can't help but say Gary Crosby (Bing's son), Joby Baker, and Jimmy Hawkins were some real would-be boy toys.

Even though the cold electronic stillness of the web, I sensed a triple swoon from the ladies when the three poked their heads though the palms and sang.

***

I admit it. I have dreamed since the first time I saw Girl Happy! to be a fourth sidekick to Elvis in that movie. A fourth face in the palm, or in the vertical blinds.

Kind of like being a fifth Beatle.

Ok, deep breath, and....

On the twelfth  of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Twelve Running Gags

Eleven New Tuxedos,

Ten Steady Gigs,

Nine Ladies Dancing

Eight Fans Applauding,

Seven Monkey Puppets,

Six Hours Practice

Five Funny Jokes

(Ja)eff Dunham Tickets,

Three Good Springs,

Two Moving Eyebrows,

And a full-sized ventriloquist dummy.

The End.

***
As Elvis once (or twice) said, "Thankyaverymuch."

That day job thing

Yesterday's post was whining. Sorry.

I've started reading Terry Fator's book, Who's the Dummy Now?, and  it keeps making me think about the challenge of starting a journey to ventriloquism when you're NOT a pre-teen. Do I wish there were cute pictures of a young boy with his Charlie McCarthy or Mortimer Snerd dummy? Of course I do.

And I'm sure plenty of great ventriloquists who weren't prodigies. And how I feel about my parents not getting me a dummy for Christms when I was four is an unexplored topic between me and my "professional friend". But there's a challenge in starting a new adventure (See my sidebar about "hobbies") and being an adult, making a living, paying a mortgage. Don't worry, the whining is over.

It's all about the patience and persistence to find the time. To keep myself encouraged, and being too lazy to find real "senior" succcess stories, I offer these:

• When Einstein was in his 60s, he had a dummy made with the same hairdo he had and was the hit of faculty parties.
• Brad Pitt is only 4 years younger than me, and  there's no indication he'd be any better at ventriloquism than me.
• The older Bob Dylan gets, the more he sounds like a ventriloquist dummy, and the more Grammys he wins.
• There's a room at Graceland, closed to the public, were Elvis was building but never completed his own dummy. I've outlived him by seven years already.
• When Barack Obama (47) sneaks out for a smoke, he leaves a ventriloquist dummy behind his desk. The Secret Service has not caught on. He had dreams of achieving more than world peace, and he says, "Yes I can."

It's not to late.

Impersonations - a path?

As I drove home yesterday listening to my practice tapes, I tried on a few different voices and had an epiphany:

I do impersonations, and any of them could be a character voice. The trick has nothing to do with the voice itself.

So I started running a list in my head, and realized that they are all so dated, so many voices from the past, only someone of my generation or older would even catch on. At one point or another in my life, I could do an impersonation, and therefore a make a character, of:

James Stewart, John Wayne, Barry Fitzgerald, Maurice Chavalier, Richard Nixon, Hubert Humphrey, The Crusher, Jack Nicholson, Walter Brennan, Robert Duvall, Bruce Dern, Sean Connery, Andy Devine, Inspector Clouseau, Denver Pyle, Don Knots, Ronald Reagan, Jim Nabors, Lawrence Welk, Elvis Presley, Tom Snyder, Wolfman Jack, Cary Grant, Dean Martin, Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Jerry Lewis, and , oh, the list goes on and on.

Throw in every character in the Wizard of Oz, too. And Liza...

Does anyone alive actually appreciate a good Walter Brennan impersonation? Can you wow anyone with a spot-on Hubert Humphrey anymore? Even come close to remembering Tom Snyder (Tomorrow)?

Yes, I haven’t experienced any pop culture since about 1981. For the first time ever, I’m seeing this as a good thing. At least I might be able to make it work for me.