Stiffed...

What did it take?

• Did George have to chew off one of his arms like in 127 Hours? Or chew off one of Dan's?
• Did Dan have to do his best John Wayne imitation like in True Grit? "Or see you hang at Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience"?
• Be even more groundbreaking on the World Wide Web like in The Social Network? Cripes! Don't even get me started about re-writing the rules of the webwaves*...
• Did the fearless prognosticators have to put on tutus? Real, imaginary or otherwise...
• Did Dan and George have to have trouble talking, like in The King's Speech? With God as my witness, you'd think the difficulty speaking clearly  issue was obvious...

I guess it's all moot now anyway.  The score is The King's Speech - 12 Academy Award nominations, True Grit - 10 nominations, The Social Network - a bunch, Black Swan - a boatload, 129 Hours - enough...

And Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus - none.

Nada.

I know.  The sound wasn't very good, and sometimes the shot wasn't even framed up square, so I can see being shut out of all the technical awards, but...

Just tell me - who's a more lovable curmudgeon?  Rooster Cogburn or George?

Was it because I would not do the shameless self-promotion?  Or because Hollywood is just all about politics? And who knows who?

Maybe I should have done the "do lunch" thing, or at least the "do coffee" thing. Or (with my real life budget in mind) maybe just a few well-placed Andes candies in the mail might have set the tone.  Who really knows - could'a worked.

Then again, George didn't exactly "work it" either.

Maybe next year, like when the Lord of the Rings movies didn't win the first time, but later, as sort of a homage to a body of work...

Yes, that must be what the Academy is up to.  I'm sure of it.

***

To my bed** of regular readers and viewers:

January was a slow, sleepy month dominated by my Green Bay Packers and their quest for the Super Bowl. And I hope you can tell, the Gurus shows took some tender loving care, right down to wardrobe! (Yep - no costume Oscar nomination, either.)

But it's going to be a great new year.  I ran across the logos for No Logo Thursday, and Blog Oleo, and Mystic Moment, and I got excited for these and new stuff, too.  BV is going to burn even brighter in 2011.

Everybody! With me! Sing!

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine...

Sorry, got carried away there.

***

* Webwaves is still my very own word.
** A Bed is a group of clams -at least in this reference.

Gridiron Gurus - Championship Weekend

So it's actually happening.

The Packers and the Bears for the NFC Championship.  Wow.

As a child of the '70s, this match-up will forever be in my mind as a clash between bitter rivals that had no chance to make the playoffs, much less fight for a Super Bowl berth.  Yes, there was a gap between the Halas-Lombardi era and the Ditka to Holmgren era.  That's when I learned about what being  fan was all about: not wins and losses, but pride. 

It had to be. It sure wasn't about wins.

And if you're wondering why the other game got picked the way it did, just answer this in your heart:  Namath or Bradshaw?

Really?

Remember, we're going for huge pregame show ratings against the big boys.  So watch this over and over and over and over...  if not here on the blog, then at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyANdX6usa0.

Gurus! Tomorrow! Head-to-head against....

Good afternoon, my cete* of regular readers and viewers.  If you surfed here to see Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus (BVPGG) - The Conference Championships, you need to know - I need your help tomorrow morning - big time!

How, I hear you cry?

The show will first post Sunday morning. For the first time, BVPGG is going head-to-head in the ratings battle for pregame show ratings supremacy.

Who will draw the biggest audience?

These guys?

Or these guys?

Or these guys?

Or these guys?

Or...

THESE GUYS?

All we know for sure is that the entire production staff of Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus is saying an extra prayer to Saint Arbitron tonight. And with your help, those prayers will be answered.

Remember, the show is less than 4 minutes long. So view early, view often, and may the best gurus win.

***

* a cete is a group of badgers.

Gridiron Gurus - Divisional Playoffs

To all the fans of Budding Ventrilouist Presents Gridiron Gurus in the Milwaukee area, doesn't a Packers/Bears championsihip games just seem like something that we've waited for since the Packers' Bart Starr and Bears' Jack Concannon  faced off? Or was it Bobby Douglas, or was it both? You know the Bears and their quarterbacks...

I-94 is going to erupt from the tension if that happens!  Lake Michigan will freeze over!

Of course, we're counting chickens.  Until next week.

(You can always go straight to Youtube to see this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_yVbNQbEtE - but then you'd miss all the fun here on the blog.)

Top of the morning to ya

Hats off to Terry Fator.  I knew that guy would do something with his talent.


Not only did he win America's Got Talent...
Not only is he playing Vegas just about non-stop...


He got to do a segment on CBS Sunday Morning, the best darn news magazine show there is. The man is literally walking my dream path.


Granted, he was interviewed by Armen Keteyian*, not Charles Osgood. So he only had the penultimate** experience, not the ultimate "wow." But hang in there, Terry. You're almost there.


http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7228518n&tag=cbsnewsVideoArea.0

J

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7228518n&tag=cbsnewsVideoArea.0

***

This was not only a fun segment, but a nice little bit of educating the world about the magic of ventriloquism. I will say, after hearing him explain about how he makes B's and P's, I will be trying to figure out just how clever I can get my tongue to be. 

Will practice make perfect? 

Try getting your puppet or dummy to say that.  You'll see.

***

* Armen Keteyian is a solid, competent broadcast journalist.  I'd be thrilled to be interviewed by him, but more so by Charles Osgood, aka "the man himself."***
** Penultimate is defined by Merriam and/or Webster (when sober) as "next to last".  In the context of this bit of shtick, it implies that an interview with Charles Osgood is the absolute end, or all that would be necessary for a great life.


I've really over-explained that, didn't I?

***

*** How nerdy is it to desperately want to be interviewed by Charles Osgood?

Gridiron Gurus - Wildcard Weekend

Yes, football fans, Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus is going to the playoffs... with their picks.

Did you have any doubt? And, admit it. Watching these things are as addicting as the smell of sage on a summer day, the aroma of vanilla in a latte...

Did I just hear someone say, "hey, buddy, stick to ventriloquism. Leave the poetry to professionals."

Ok. But we'll make football picks, too.

(if it doesn't play here, check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byMGkY_HgJw)

***

For those of you who miss Budding Ventrilquist every morning when you eat your cornflakes, fear not. The creative staff here has all sorts of ideas for the new year. New fun, new jokes, new clever techniques to wow you, new locations to enjoy - it's going to be a great year.

Makes you quiver with excitement, doesn't it?

Happy New Year!

***

FYI - It's pronounced "Pffft!"