In-something...

For the next month, Budding Ventriloquist will explore the Academy Award nominees for Best Picture. The issue is not which one is "best." The issue is: Which movie would be even better if ventriloquism was part of the story?

***Second in a series***

Inception

Opening Scene

Leonardo DiCaprio washes up on a beach and is taken prisoner by (in the first twist) scrupulous Oriental thugs who bring him to a room. He has a conversation with a very intimidatingly scrupulous Oriental thug leader, who does not look like Ming the Merciless. Leonardo takes out a ventriloquist dummy and looks at his mouth. If the dummy talks but Leonardo's lips don't move, Leonardo is dreaming.  Turns out Leonardo has  created a technique to invade people's dreams as a ventriloquist, though the person he's invading believes he's a dummy.


The plot thickens
When trapped into using his gift not for good but for evil, he rounds up Jeff Dunham, Terry Fator, and other great ventriloquists who have been hiding in plain sight as entertainment superstars when in fact they are escaped renegade slaves of Ming the Merciless, who is trying to corner the world vase market. Leonardo explains that he will take the dream ventriloquism to the fourth level.  He'll make his dummy talk, who is actually a rich guy in dummy's clothing. That dummy will stay at a very funky hotel and acquire another dummy who will then in turn talk through the mouth of a very muppet-like puppet who may or may not be Leonardo's mother. The mother puppet has a fierce gunfight with an army of snow soldiers.

Until it runs like molasses

Just as the mother puppet is about to die, the bell hop from the hotel (who looks a lot like Charlie McCarthy) gets a cell phone call and realizes that his smarty phone is actually a bomb. As the bell hop suddenly needs to sneeze, time comes close to stopping, and Leonardo and his ex-wife fall into a monolithic world that looks a lot like the old Polish south side of Milwaukee, where she and his wife live in the flat above her (or his?) mother and father.  Realizing that all he needs is to wish upon a star, because it makes no difference who they are, the bell hop sneezes, the oriental thugs tip over Ming's tea, all the cars lose their tires in  the huge car chase, Jerry Lewis is everywhere, and Leonardo wakes up in the bosom of his family, but his dummy is on a plane with the rest of his ventriloquist compatriots.  The suitcase of money seems real enough. His kids are happy to have their daddy back, even if the kids both sound like Jerry Mahoney and Mortimer Snerd.  Are his lips moving?  The credits role...

"The End?"

***

The actual plot of Inception was more complicated than this. Sorry if I had to dummy down the whole thing.  If you are like me, you saw the movie a while ago. So you might be saying, "Oh yea, I remember it now. What parts did he make up for this spoof?"

***

A ventriloquism book about the Dummying Down of America? 

Get my publisher on the line.

***

This is one of the rare times that I've used a concept twice on my blog by writing this send up of Inception. If you noticed it, you get a Budding Ventriloquist tee shirt*.

They're on back order.  Don't plan to wear it on Valentine's Day. Definitely won't ship in time.

***

* Available in black, white, turquoise, and sage - perhaps all at once.

National Ventriloquism Week

Ever the researcher, I did a search on The Google.

It was written on the blog Zany Holidays last year, and that Letterman dude had a special week a few years ago, but it wasn't necessarily the same thing.

But this week is - for real - National Ventriloquism Week, and the big event is the giant, colossal Vent Haven ConVENTion in Fort Mitchell, Kentucky. To get the "big picture" of just how big the ConVENTion is, just follow this link to Ventriloquist Central/Vent Haven.

The ConVENTion's dates are Wednesday, July 14, to Saturday, July 17.

Just a couple things:

• To my non-ventriloquist friends: Yes, this is real stuff. Follow the links. See the pictures. Imagine the sleepy berg of Fort Mitchell consumed by ventriloquists. Or, if you want to get really nervous, imagine your town getting consumed by ventriloquists.
• To my ventriloquist friends: I hope you're going. I hope you have a great time. And, I hope it is not too many years before I am there with you.
• To those who ask obvious questions - the answer is BECAUSE I'M BROKE! That's why I'm not going to be there.

However, I was able to cover the Winter Olympics without leaving Hudson, Wisconsin. I should be able to participate in the ConVENTion from here somehow.

Budding Ventriloquist is in its inaugural year, so there's lots of firsts.  Here, courtesy of Webmaster Steve Hurst at Ventriloquist Central, is a live feed window - the first live feed window in BV history. I didn't even come close to this with the Budding Ventriloquist Winter Olympic Coverage (TM). I'll be figuring out how to have this on the the sidebar so there's 24/4 access to it. Maybe 24/5, if Steve plays reruns for a day after the conVENTion shuts down.

Watch live video from ventriloquistcentral on Justin.tv
The other part of my plan will be to have a message board where kooky and wacky ConVENTioneers can leave greetings from the big event.

Stay tuned.  I have some technical miracles to work out.

***

Whenever there's a National (anything) Week, I can't help but seize the opportunity to recall this gem from my all time favorite, Professor Tom Lehrer. The song itself, National Brotherhood Week, is hilarious in and of itself. Paired with his intro, it is truly brilliant wit.

***

I think I owe Tom Lehrer for my obsession with figuring our why Jerry Lewis is considered a comic genius in France.

Le vie en ventriloque

Bonjour, mes amis français, sur mon blog, Graine de ventriloque.

Greetings, my French friends, to my blog, Budding Ventriloquist.

I’m already nervous on so many levels about this post.

I wanted to make potential French readers feel welcome by greeting them in their native tongue. However, the French have a reputation for being kind of persnickety about their language, and kind of nasty when it’s not used properly. My computer generated translation might be all screwed up for all I know.

Then there is the whole French/German rivalry thing. Can I get all the way through this post without just dissing their whole country, thus ruining my growing reputation as one of the ventriloquism world’s finest international ambassadors of goodwill. All just because my parents and my parents' parents never said anything nice about French people?

(Quick note: The term “French/German rivalry” makes it sound like I’m talking couple of high schools and the big football game. Anybody know who won the Hamilton High/Pulaski High game this year? Go! Go, go! Go you mighty Wildcats! Sorry, got all nostalgic there.)

But wouldn’t you know it… I did research and I was really impressed with what I found out about French ventriloquism history:

In the 16th century, Louis Brabant, valet de chambre of King Francis I, won for himself a rich and beautiful heiress by aid of his wonderful talent as a ventriloquist. So you might say that this is the first evidence that being a ventriloquist is a chick magnet.

Hard to knock that as a great national legacy, I say.

Alexandre Vattemare (1796 – 1864) discovered at the age of seven that he could do ventriloquism and imitate sounds. When schooling to be a doctor, the school to give him a diploma because he made cadavers seem to speak during surgical exercises. He went on to perform under the name Monsieur Alexandre.

Talking cadavers! Now that’s funny! That’s Jerry Lewis funny. That’s even funnier than Jerry Lewis funny.

Oops. There’s that Jerry Lewis thing. You know… Jerry Lewis is Monsieur Comic Genius, they think. Now the argument starts and it’s my fault. I could have not brought up how wrong the French are about that.

Can I say that the French make up for it with their contribution to passionate kissing? Or am I reaching to get back to saying good things?

Oh well. I tried.

Now, I had a tough time picking a video this time. There's lots of great ones out there.

Here's French Ventriloquist Yves Malori  doing schtick from his ventriloquist and magic burlesque show entitled "Gastric lavage" that toured Paris and throughout France in 2008.

Just a quick question:  If the French are so finicky about how their language is spoken, how do they deal with the slurring and blurring that comes with ventriloquism voicing? Or are French ventriloquists really, really good? Too bad I can't really tell, though once again I find myself just loving watching ventriloquists make jokes, even if I haven't the foggiest idea what the joke is.

You can find more about Yves Malori at http://www.yvesmalori.com/.

***

Quick French lesson:

Ventriloque = Ventriloquist
Ventriloquie = Ventriloquism
Mannequin ventriloque = ventriloquist dummy

No, if I type just the word "dummy" into the translator, it doesn't say "Monsieur Jerry Lewis."

***

There. That wasn't too insulting, was it?

Think I earned myself some free french wine? Cheese? Both?

NLT... Late Night Notes

Just some quick notes:

• By my counter, Budding Ventriloquist has had 3,000 hits as of today. I’ll have all the cool math analysis worked out when I run the big Bicentennial (200th) post that’s coming up soon. For now I’ll just say that considering that in the history of baseball, only 27 players had 3,000 hits. I’m feeling pretty darn special.
• Much to my surprise, France visited Budding Ventriloquist! I’m already working on a solid tribute to French ventriloquism and have found so many videos on youtube, I’m going to be challenged to pick.
• What I and the French people have in common: We both have a strange fascination with the comedy of Jerry Lewis.
• What I and the French people don’t have in common: I think the Jerry Lewis of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis was funny, they think the post Dean/Jerry Jerry was funny.
• What the French and I really don’t have in common. I’m right about when Jerry Lewis was funny. They’re wrong.
• France had no interest in the Budding Ventriloquist Winter Olympic Coverage. But due to my German heritage, I hold no grudge. Really. Honest. You believe that, don't you?
• I’ve been working on being nicer about my fellow human beings. It seems to be built into my German DNA that I have a hard time thinking of the French as my fellow anything. But I’m going to give it a go in the spirit of being an ambassador of goodwill in the ventriloquist community. That and I’m hoping if I write a good tribute piece, one of them will send me some free wine. Or cheese. Or both.

Bon jour.

More holiday fun

Because the Find Famous Ventriloquist Faces in the Yule Log Fire game was immensely popular (A full third of my three regular readers played - whooooo'da thunk?), we're going to have more fun.

Here's the rules:

• Start the video right exactly at midnight tonight, after you've kissed your love and made your Happy New Year's shout.
• Now, watch it closely. Stare at it. Then, when you see the following faces magically appear in the fireworks, check them off:

 Mortimer Snerd

Charlie McCarthy

Jerry Mahoney

Knuckhead Smith

Achmed the Dead Terrorist

Walter (Jeff Dunham's)

Walter T Airedale (Terry Fator's)

Winston the Turtle

Lamp Chop

Senor Wences' hand

Jerry Lewis

• Don't stop until they've all appeared.
• Replay the video as necessary.
• Send me an email at bushmandaniel@gmail.com when you've seen them all.
• Be the first.  The time stamp on the email decides the winner.

 To be sure you know how important this is, I'll say it three times:

PRIZE!

PRIZE!

PRIZE!

You can use it as a team party game, too, but only individual winners can claim prizes.

I hope this gets your New Year off to a great start.


Pffft!!!!!,

Dan Bushman
Budding Ventriloquist

PS - No cheating by watching it all afternoon! I only am putting it out here now so you can weave it into your celebratory plans. Don't make me call the police.

Merry Christmas

Holiday Fun

So you've opened your presents, eaten too much, run out of batteries for all the new gadgets...

Here's some special holiday fun from Budding Ventriloquist.

First, get this video running, preferably on another window/tab/etc.
Click here to run video

Now, watch it closely. Stare at it. Then, when you see the following faces magically appear in the fire, check them off:

1. Mortimer Snerd
2. Charlie McCarthy
3. Jerry Mahoney
4. Knuckhead Smith
5. Achmed the Dead Terrorist
6. Walter (Jeff Dunham's)
7. Walter T Airedale (Terry Fator's)
8. Winston the Turtle
9. Lamp Chop
10. Senor Wences' hand
11. Jerry Lewis

Don't stop until they've all appeared. Replay the video as necessary. Write me when you've seen them all.  Be the first - there's a prize involved.

And happy holidays from Dan, your budding ventriloquist.

Hep Cats

As I work on different voices for characters, I get flashes of inspiration in the flavors of "a whole act."

For instance, singing along with Frank Sinatra's incredible The Lady is a Tramp,  I hear him us the term "broad" referring to the title female, And FLASH - why not create a cool Las Vegas night club singer-type who calls women "broads" and says "hey baby" a lot.

Then FLASH - a ventriloquist homage to the Rat Pack. (I'm flying now - weee!) A quick reality check (in terms of the voices):

• Frank Sinatra - Challenging; not actually that distinct. It's all about phrasing.
• Dean Martin - would actually play better in a Dean Martin/ Jerry Lewis schtick.
• Sammy Davis - I can just say "groovy" a lot; but that doesn't make my imitation that good.
• Peter Lawford - um.... who was he again?
• Joey Bishop - I perfected many years ago. The best of the bunch.

Then, my enthusiasm wanes. A spot-on Joey Bishop imitation just doesn't get a guy very far these days. And having seen videos of the "Summit at the Sands," the other reality is they weren't that funny. Their "cool" was way whack, but on the humorgrammeter? Not really.

Rats. Got to move on.

Maybe my old Perry Como albums will inspire something.

***

It's true. The Rat Pack wasn't actually very funny. However, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis were actually very funny.

My "Jerry Lewis as a human ventriloquist dummy" fixation has still strong. And before you ask (because I know you are checking the sidebar list), he's not on the "faces" list because it's not just about his face. Kapeesh? (For all you spellers out there - Capisci?)

If a picture paints a 1000 words, then what if...

My work on the actual ventriloquism skill is slow, but I still have an inner belief that I might find a new frontier for the art.

Just think:

• If Fred Astaire had chosen ventriloquism, dummies would really dance.
• If Tony Bennett had chosen ventriloquism, he'd have left his levers in San Francisco,
• If John Kennedy had chosen ventriloquism, we'd have put a dummy on the moon before 1970.
• If Bill Gates had chosen ventriloquism. our computers would talk and sound just a little like us.
• If Dean Martin had chosen ventriloquism, there would have been a fabulous singer/dummy act.
• If Jerry Lewis had chosen ventriloquism, would Dean Martin have noticed?  Would Jerry even have noticed?

Like my ventriloquistic skills, my logic and my vision isn't perfect. Yet. But the time is coming.

***

Of the many mysteries of my life, my fascination with Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis stumps even the most wise denizens of the astral plane. And there's no stumping them, not even when we play "Stump the Band." And they can vent perfect Bs without moving their lips, too.

You just said, "Did he just say astral plane?," didn't you?  Long story, especially on terra firma.

Traitors

Brett Favre playing in a Vikings uniform, throwing passes against my Green Bay Packers. So wrong.  How did it come to this?

Did Charlie McCarthy ever sit in WC Fields lap?
Did Topo Gigio ever run off to appear with Senor Wences?
Did Lamb Chop ever kiss Captain Kangaroo?
Did Jerry Lewis ever leave Dean Martin?

Well, ok. Jerry Lewis was not Dean Martin's ventriloquist dummy. And he did leave Dean. But for all practical purposes...

I rest my case.

Impersonations - a path?

As I drove home yesterday listening to my practice tapes, I tried on a few different voices and had an epiphany:

I do impersonations, and any of them could be a character voice. The trick has nothing to do with the voice itself.

So I started running a list in my head, and realized that they are all so dated, so many voices from the past, only someone of my generation or older would even catch on. At one point or another in my life, I could do an impersonation, and therefore a make a character, of:

James Stewart, John Wayne, Barry Fitzgerald, Maurice Chavalier, Richard Nixon, Hubert Humphrey, The Crusher, Jack Nicholson, Walter Brennan, Robert Duvall, Bruce Dern, Sean Connery, Andy Devine, Inspector Clouseau, Denver Pyle, Don Knots, Ronald Reagan, Jim Nabors, Lawrence Welk, Elvis Presley, Tom Snyder, Wolfman Jack, Cary Grant, Dean Martin, Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Jerry Lewis, and , oh, the list goes on and on.

Throw in every character in the Wizard of Oz, too. And Liza...

Does anyone alive actually appreciate a good Walter Brennan impersonation? Can you wow anyone with a spot-on Hubert Humphrey anymore? Even come close to remembering Tom Snyder (Tomorrow)?

Yes, I haven’t experienced any pop culture since about 1981. For the first time ever, I’m seeing this as a good thing. At least I might be able to make it work for me.

Time for Tangibles

I will hae some time in the next few days to design, write and record a 20-mnute ventiloquism lesson or two for my commute. I can see where there's a series of them needed.  Basic word practice, ones for how to do the difficult letters, etc.

The books I've been reading lay out several ideas on how to do this. And they make sense. In this world, it's never about finding information on "how to", it's about actually doing it.

I keep thinking of the learning process this way:

1. Learn the voice trick - talk without moving your lips.
2. Learn coordinating the movement of the dummy voice to the sounds. Make the lips move!

Then:

1. Develop a character. Who is the person/creature you are performing with?
2. Work the dummy's whole body movements to be a "being" on stage with you.
• It is Sheri Lewis's Lamb Chop or Edgar Bergen's Charlie McCarthy or even Dean Martin's Jerry Lewis. A separate, free spirit that is your partner. If it appears to be a puppet on your hand, you are not doing it right.

I'e read books about Houdini, and a fundamental about performing magic is to learn the trick first and without fail. Then, dress it up with dazzle and distraction.

By extension, ventriloquism is a voice magic trick, the rest is theatrics and distraction. But what separates good ones from not-so-good ones is that the trick is learnable.  The theatrics are what causes the "suspension of disbelief" that will determine whether it's a delight or disappointment.

I talk so smart. But, I am looking at this adventure not so much as a ventriloquism act, but as a way of doing stand-up comedy with an partner who I don't have any problem coordinating a rehearsal schedule with. Or having any problem getting him to gigs on time, or keeping him out of bars on show nights!