Chil-laxin'?

What’s most important to the whole Budding Ventriloquist movement (I know, you’re letting it sink in - this is a “movement”?) is that it be now, that it be what’s happening, that it be… today.

So as I carefully consider and reconsider the programming for the Vent Channel before I hit up venture capitalists big time, I do have to consider what is trendy.

I wouldn't call myself trendy. Believe this or not, my tastes do tend towards the nerdy, esoteric, and sometimes exotic, though there's I enjoy the more common, too. Like mango and mint; exotic and common, but both flavors add to pleasure to my life.

So as I lay out the program profile for the money men (or women), I can see their eyes light up as I explain the Vent Channel’s reality show:

Chil-laxin’ with Dummy People *,**

The concept is simple;

• Brings much of ventriloquists to a mansion where they are forced to live together for months, doing everything together.
• One of the ventriloquists is not actually a ventriloquist, but a spy. His (or her) dummy is voiced my hidden microphone and speaks with the voice of a famous actor. (I wanted John Forsythe, the voice of Charlie on Charlie’s Angels, but he’s dead.)
• The ventriloquists don't have to be professionals. At least one should sound like Ozzie Osborne.
• Each week, one of the ventriloquists is forced out of the mansion by call in or text vote;
• Finally, they will go on a round-the-world race, where they are not allowed to leave nay country unless they perform ventriloquism for at least one police official.

The tough sell is that there isn't a whole lot of footage out there of ventriloquists "hanging out."  I am imspired by this segment from a Conan O'Brien show (see below about Mr. O'Brien) on the VentriloChoir as they headed to their appearance on Hungarian television. Watch this. These guys are party animals.

***

* Chil-Laxin' is a combination of "chilling out" and "relaxing". My teenage kids refuse to talk to me about "hip lingo", so I am only hoping this term is no more than 10 years old.
**  Yea, I know. The title needs work. Not the chil-laxin' part; the "dummy" thing is what always comes out so demeaning.

***

Dear Conan O'Brien:

I put you on the V Face List. (January 13, 2010)

I offered you your own show. (March 13, 2010).

I even offered you a four-day work week just like TBS did. In fact, I offered that first. I'm about ready to call out Ted Turner or his flunkies (henchmen?) about stealing my "only four nights" idea.  I posted my offer to you it long before they pitched it. I know it. You know it. They know it.

Yea, I know. I don't have their kind of money. But I would have treated you like an artist.

Sincerely,


Dan Bushman
Programming Director
The Vent Channel