Okay, dear. I promise.

So concerned my wife is that my fascination with ventriloquism comes from a deep-seeded desire to expose my buried, hostile inner thoughts, I make this pledge:

I will use ventriloquism for good, not evil.

I will stipulate that there’s nothing evil about dissing Minnesotans. That’s beyond funny, just like even so many truths about the Bush Administration are.

Or is it that you can’t spell ventriloquism with out V-E-N-T?

Perhaps there is some moral peril here that wasn't immediately evident. Yikes. All I wanted to do is scare… er, entertain some kindergarteners.