Saturday, September 20, 2014

Gurus'14: Week 3 Post-Op Edition

The Gurus are so old school.  Dan has surgery on his back and does he sit out for a week?

Heck no!  He's the Butkus and Nitschke of prognosticators.

No way was he going to let George make the picks by himself.  So on comes the game face and out comes the picks for Week 3.

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Because if Gridiron Gurus stands for anything* it's accountability,  Let's look back at last week and hold Dan's and George's hands in the fire for their 7-9 pick record.  The smell of George's hand burning seems to have a chemical retardant nose to it, while Dan is emitting a distinctive roasting flesh aroma. 
Go ahead. Say it. Ewww.


Pick of the (last) Week:  Buffalo has a certain "we're back" look to them.  A renewed spirit.  So does Miami, But last week it was a home team wins kind of pick.  And a good one it was.


ICK of the (last) Week: What is it about the Raiders that makes Dan want to pick them week after week?  Is it that he hopes that football is not a game of overall organizational excellence, but a game where the most ridiculously dressed fans win? Well, no more picking the Raiders. No. No. No.

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WEEK 3

THURSDAY
Tampa Bay over Atlanta
Okay, we got the pick really wrong. Lovie Smith is still the best man in football.

SUNDAY
Green Bay over Detroit
Last Thanksgiving, Packer fans gave thanks that the rout by the Lions eventually ended. This time the turkey will be on the other foot. Or something like that.

Buffalo over San Diego
Oh come, oh come EJ Man-an-an-u-el, and ransom captive Buf-uf-uf-a-lo. (when Dan and George go live again, expect to hear this one over and over.)

Cincinnati over Tennessee
The division favorite Bengals… is just a weird thing to get used to saying.

Cleveland over Baltimore
The Browns treat their home fans to a victory. Off-field noise is just about ready to consume them.

Indianapolis over Jacksonville
The Colts are the best 0-2 team is football. The Jags are the worst.

New England over Oakland
The Raiders have a two game streak… at being the Gurus’ awful pick of the week. The streak ends now.

New Orleans over Minnesota
New Orleans needs a big win soon. The Vikings need a new “face of the organization” even sooner.

Houston over N.Y. Giants
The Giants are still in training camp mode
.
Philadelphia over Washington
The Gurus will henceforth refer to D.C. team as the Washington Goober Peas.

Dallas over St. Louis
The Rams season seems to already be over.

San Francisco over Arizona
Hate picking the Niners, but gotta.

Miami over Kansas City
The Chiefs only had a chance if their original plan was going to get to play itself out. That ain’t happening.

Denver over Seattle
The SB Champion Seahawks start 1-2? Yep.


SUNDAY NIGHT

Carolina over Pittsburgh
The Steelers are still riding the last of their residual high from their 2008 Super Bowl victory. Or trying to.
MONDAY

Chicago over N.Y. Jets
Chicago was just reading a book about using passing as an offensive weapon, and is giving it a go.

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Ventriloquist on the Sidelines
(remember, this is still a blog about ventriloquism)

Got a feeling Roger Goodell talks out of both sides of his face? Or should we say... any doubt?



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*  If Gridiron Gurus stands for anything...  is still a nagging question.

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