Not spectactular, but...
By this year's standards, it's way guru-y. Way.
When you look at ESPN's so-called "expert" panel, then take Chris Mortensen out because he's obviously just plain cheating somehow, Budding Ventriloquist's gurus are equal to or better than all but one expert. Uno. Ein. Un. Yat.
And he's named after Doctor Seuss characters: The Wichersham Brothers from Horton Hears a Who. That, admittedly, does bless him with a special advantage.
But because BV is committed to doing everything gurus can do to bring you the very best in ventriloquist football prognostication, our Gridiron Gurus real names henceforth are Dan Sneech and The George in the Hat.
Really. Look at their drivers licenses next time you see them.
Swear to gosh.
Mike Golic was 3-11 last week. And he's got a radio show?
Geesh. There is no justice.
Just remember Mr. Golic: Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy were on the radio, too. So if you think you're somewhere ventriloquist's don't go...
Thursday Night Football
SEATTLE at SAN FRANCISCO
Seeing as the Gurus haven't picked the Thursday game right in three weeks...
The easy thing to do is pick the 49ers. They aren't perfect but they are the new bully on the block...
But then again, the Seahawks are a big surprise team, and Pete Carroll jumps and cheers like a tee ball parent whose kid finally hit the ball.
But you have to go with the obvious favorite and the home team: the Niners. Still the Gurus haven't done well on Thursday nights going with the obvious, so Seattle is the real obvious pick. But...
Every time we do that, the favorite actually wins. Out-thinking yourself is to out-think a fool, as the saying goes.*
So we're going with San Francisco.
No. the NINERS!
But don't bet your boots on it. Bet your old black gym shorts with the frayed waistband, maybe. Or maybe your boots, if they aren't particularly fancy boots.
* "Out-thinking yourself is to out-think a fool" is not an actual saying. I was just saying that.
But that would make it a saying, wouldn't it?