Sunday, December 18, 2011

Gurus'11 Week 15: Bye Week Top Ten Excuses

To all the loyal fans of Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus (both of you):

Consider this Dan’s and George’s bye week. Here’s the Top Ten Excuses why there’s no Gurus video show this week:

#10:       George went with the seniors to the casino again, and “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner”
#9:          Dan’s lips are so chapped, they appear to move when George talks.  Imagine that, huh?
#8:          The whole BV production staff got down and boogie-oogie-oogied Friday night.
#7:          Now that George is the frontrunner in the Iowa Caucuses, media scrutiny has gotten ferocious.
#6:          They are waiting by the phone for Letterman’s call to be on his show.
#5:          Dan is at Soldier Field trying out for wide receiver.
#4:          After last week’s 4 hits, need to create “pent-up demand”
#3:          The guest game-picking turtle got camera shy.
#2:          Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around

And the number one excuse that there’s no Gurus video show this week:

#1:          Because just when the cameras started rolling, it was Tebow Time.

For the record, Week 15’s picks are:

Falcons over Jaguars
Dallas over Tampa Bay
Bills over Dolphins
Seahawks over Bears
Texans over Panthers
Titans over Colts

The World Champion Green Bay Packers
over the Chiefs

Saints over Vikings
Giants over Redskins
Bengals over Rams
Lions over Raiders
Cardinals over Browns
Patriots over Broncos
Jets over Eagles
Ravens over Chargers
Niners over Steelers

Sure, a couple of the games were already played. But we wouldn’t just make it up that we picked the winners, would we?

I mean, if you can’t trust a Guru, who can you trust?

Gridiron Gurus will be back next week, because Dan owes you a Christmas present. Promise and pinky-swear.

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