Thursday, October 20, 2011

Week 6 Recap: Still better than Butkus...


I say 9-4 in a 13-game week is pretty gosh-darn good. And with a 63-27 overall, I'm still way better than Butkus.


I mean Ditka.

When it comes to remembering the names of legendary ex-Bears, a born-and-raised Packer fan can only say one word: Whatever.

(To all my writer friends:  I know, I should say "whoever" or "whomever", pending on whether I'm writing in the first person, or whether I've suddenly decided to switch to the "Royal 'We'".  Hey! In the blogging world, I may have just become the first blogger to give a  three games shucks*.  Do I get points for knowing it's a question not of to "what" but to "who/whom" I am referring?)

Let's move on.

Now, I'm three games behind the standard bearer, Tom Jackson.  Jackson is also the "best of the best" commentator on any of the shows and to be only three games behind him is like being in the third pew from the front at a Papal Mass.

Well, not exactly.** But, you get the idea.

Moving on to the "big board of ESPN's so called "experts", only three of them are better.


Considering I don't have any "inside skinny" and still make great picks,  I have to put this out there.
Question: Why are they on broadcast television and I'm not?
Answer: Politics.  Plain and simple.
Sure, I could go with:
Answer:  Dan and George are pioneers of both ventriloquist prognostication and webwave*** communication.

But honestly, what does Chris Mortensen (9 games worse than me) have that I don't? Besides hair?****

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* Just to follow-up:  I really am writing this blog to see if I can bring my writing skills up.  When you're at the point that I am, it gets frustrating.  I would describe that point as "I know and apply standard grammar and punctuation pretty well, but show why I'm not teaching English embarrassingly often."

This still isn't as often as my lips move when I'm doing ventriloquism; nothing is that embarrassingly often.

Then again, I believe I would have to actually be embarrassed for it to be "embarrassingly" often. If you watch the videos, ask yourself:  Is that the face of an embarrassed man?

** It's nothing like that at all.

*** Webwaves is a word I invented.  When my friend Merriam (or his drinking buddy Webster) finally put it in their book, Budding Ventriloquist will get all the credit.

**** This is a rhetorical question. That's a question that doesn't need to be answered, typically because everyone knows the answer. Like... Do I have a hang-up about my hair line?

Don't answer that!

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