Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Playing a tenspot

Reasons I don't have to tell you what I'm about to tell you:

  • You've been following Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus (BVPGG) so religiously that you've known this for days;
  • Because you chose to trust and bet the house, your bookie just delivered a brown bag full of $20 bills and promises that he'll get the rest to you because he's never been pinched this hard by one single bettor; or
  • You were so frightened by the BVPGG Week 8: The Blair Guru Project that you haven't come out from under the bed since Saturday, missing a whole weekend's worth of games. 
Reasons I need to tell you what I'm about to tell you:
  • You didn't really believe George and I actually knew anything about football and that BVPGG is just some strange lark;
  • You may very well want to bet at least the mudroom if not the whole house next week on what BVPGG tells you; or
  • You were so frightened by the BVPGG Week 8: The Blair Guru Project that you haven't come out from under the bed since Saturday, missing a whole weekend's worth of games.
What is it that I have to tell you?  George and I picked 10 of 13 right last week! We are winner picking studs!
***
By the way, to put your mind at ease, BVPGG Week 8: The Blair Guru Project was an entirely staged psychodrama designed to use the power of suggestion to make you tremble with fright.  Just like the Blair Witch Project, it wasn't real.

 The Blair Witch Project wasn't real, right?

Right?
***
A follow-up note on the death of Paul, the dead prognosticating octopus, who picked the winner of World Cup games:

Not  a week after his death, aquarium keepers have put a new octopus, Paul II, into the Paul I's tank. There's no suggestion that  Paul II is in any way related to Paul I. No genetic connection that would lead you to believe that Paul II has any ability to foretell the outcome of a sporting event any better than any other octopus. I'm sure Paul II is a perfectly nice octopus, but really...

This is just disgraceful. It is making a farce out of Paul I's achievement. 

Is there no shame?

Sorry. I had to get that off my chest.

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