Friday, November 12, 2010

Intelligence Report: Libya and Iran

***The following has not been confirmed by the US State Department, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), the National Security Agency (NSA), the Department of Homeland Security, or Interpol. It is also highly unlikely that any of these agencies would confirm or deny the following, because that is truly and without a doubt in the world "just the way they are." And they know it.***


Libyan and Iranian Internet Activity

October 28, 2010 - The blog Budding Ventriloquist  received a visit from Tripoli, Libya.

Additional "Intel"*
1. Though Libya has one of the highest Gross Domestic Product (GDP) levels on the continent because of petroleum products, the wealth is not distributed throughout all levels of the population.  In other words, there's only a few very rich people, and a huge camel-load** of poor ones.

2.  The US State Department rates the authoritarian government of Libya very poor on human rights and the country's people to be "not free."

3.  Those who are "not free" don't get free and open access to media, such as the World Wide Web. Even those who do are likely very strictly censored.

4.  The leader of Libya has a less-than-mainstream attitudes about how the world works. To explain the whole "tent" thing when he came to the US to speak at the United Nations would just take too long. Trust me on this.

5.  Ventriloquism, though gaining popularity, is less-than-mainstream entertainment.

First preliminary conclusion
For Budding Ventriloquist to have been visited by someone in Libya, it was likely Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi (aka Colonel Gaddafi) amusing himself.

The logic holds water.

On November 2, 2010, The blog Budding Ventriloquist received a hit from the country of Iran.  This is only 4 days after the Libya hit.

Additional "Intel"*
1.  The government of Iran really keeps the clamps on the Internet and the press.  Although their constitution references a free press, there is an exception - unless it in opposition to the practice or teachings of Islam.  This, in practice, includes everything.  The government censors the Internet, but who censors the censors?

2.  President Mahmud Ahmadinejad, though elected by the people... do I need to explain this?

3.  Leaders who seek totalitarian rule tend to compare notes. (Check out Mussolini/Hitler relationship if you doubt this.)

4.  Though Ahmadinejad wears suit coats, sport coats, and some times something that looks like a good old fashioned leisure suit, he never wears a tie. This is a very non-mainstream look.

5. The guy does like to smile. Something is making him happy.

Second preliminary conclusion
The visit from Iran was likely Mahmud Ahmadinejad himself.

Ultimate conclusion
That after viewing it himself, Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi sent a Budding Ventriloquist link to Mahmud Ahmadinejad.

So as not assume motive: 
  • It is not known whether Gaddafi thought it was funny, therefore it is only conjecture that it was send as a suggested amusement for Ahmadinejad.
  • Though Gaddafi's behavior could be considered erratic, sending the link  would be a strange prank for him to play, therefore malicious intent can not be assumed or implied.
Report Submitted:  November 12, 2010

Yes, deep down inside, I wish I was in the CIA. You think I still got a shot after you read this?

Need some help, my volary of regular readers: Would either of these guys make the "Face that belongs on a ventriloquist dummy" list?  I'm tending towards Gaddafi, but not the bearded dude.

A Gaddafi dummy would be more fun to make outfits for, too.

But I'm undecided on both. Let me hear from you.

* Intel is short for intelligence. And, it sounds cool.
** Camel load is not meant as any kind of slur. Camels are sometimes called ships of the desert, and ships are sometimes called boats. Thus and ergo, Camel load and boat load are reasonable and actually articulate equivalences.
*** A volary is a group of gamebirds.

In college, I aced both elementary symbolic logic and advanced deductive logic classes. Are you feeling a little different about the validity of my conlcusions now that you know that?

Well, you dang well should.

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