Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Wednesday pre-dawn tight end

Here's the thing.  I've said it before:
I own this niche.
And I do.. own it.

As in... have it exclusively.

As in... dominate it.

That is why I can say that George and I are absolutely best in class.

The definition of the class that we are the best in is: internet-based ventriloquist football* prognosticators. As Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus rolls past the fourth week of the NFL season, there is absolutely no doubt that we are the top of the heap.

Now, 8 and 6 is not perfect. In fact, it's actually pretty pathetic. But - name another ventriloquist team on the world wide web (yes, the whole world) that is doing better. Just one.
Just when I was getting getting lots of ideas for post that get me out of grip of gridiron guru gridlock (the seemly myopic focus on professional football that true fans of the Art of Kings** find so annoying), my laptop suffered a crippling mechanical problem.

This post is the first on my brand new one. I'm very nervous about whether this laptop will be as funny as the last one.

I just ask, oh float*** of regular readers, that you reserve judgement about this new laptop's sense of humor until it's had a chance to hit some stride. You know that it would allow you no less.
* As Budding Ventriloquist has developed an amazingly international following, I should point out that I am referring to American football, not soccer  (or football, to you non-Yanks).

** Just as horse racing is referred to as the Sport of Kings, ventriloquism should be referred to as the Art of Kings. What else would be the art of kings, huh? Decoupage? Origami?

*** A float is a group of crocodiles. Please know I'm just working to expand my vocabulary and, subsequently, expand yours.

Don't take the comparison to a group of crocodiles personally. You all have better dental work.

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