Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A parity parody?

With thanks to my dear friend Merriam, and his beer buddy, Webster, I offer for your consideration...
  • Parity ( noun \ˈper-ə-tē, ˈpa-rə-\) : the quality or state of being equal or equivalent
  • Parody ( noun \ˈper-ə-dē, ˈpa-rə-\): 1: a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule, 2: a feeble or ridiculous imitation.
  • Par·rot (noun \ˈper-ət, ˈpa-rət\): a person who sedulously echoes another's words.
Now, to use these words properly, I submit that:
  1. Because the National Football League is designed for teams to have parity among all teams, it is very hard to pick more than half the game winners correctly.  Therefore, the fact that Budding Ventriloquist Presents Gridiron Gurus (BVPGG) only got eight games correct out of 14 in week seven is actually better than what parity is designed to do.
  2. Those of you that think that  BVPGG only getting eight of 14 correct makes the whole spectacle of BVPGG just a parody of football shows are just parroting the nabobs of negativism* who scoff at ventriloquist prognosticators.
You're not a ventriloquist prognosticator scoffer, are you?

Getting called a scoffer on a Tuesday doesn't bode well for the rest of the week, does it?

It's okay.  I didn't really think you were. It's just that eight out of 14 is, well, kind of lame. I was throwing that stuff out to distract from that.

* Nabobs of negativism is a phrase written by William Safire when he was a speech writer for Richard Nixon's vice president fist vice president, Spiro Agnew.  Agnew used it to describe the increasingly hostile news media.  Not long after using the phrase in a speech, Agnew was forced to resign in disgrace, never thereafter to run for public office.  

Agnew does, however, earn this posthumous honor:  He face does have that interesting quality that puts him on the "fact that belongs on a ventriloquist dummy" list.

Were he not dead, this might signal the rebirth of his political future.  Granted, he'd be, like, 110 years old.

Remember, it's the honor that counts. 

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