- "What the hell's going on out there." - Vince Lombardi
- "Playoffs? Playoffs?" - Former Head Coach Jim Mora
- "Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theismann, Hall of Fame Quarterback and TV Analyst
Get your bookie on the phone, put him on hold, and listen to who you should bet on:
***Gridiron Gurus is being posted on Saturdays. That way, y'all can use this info for your football pools if it's not already too late. That's the kind of guy I am.
***Week 2 presented a weird technical problem. I have no idea what happened to the lighting. There is no button on the camera that said "Turn the people orange/Turn off the orange" or anything like that.
Also, my Fidel Castro joke could have been a little better performed. The ventriloquism work was a little muddy. Sorry about that. Before ventriloquism, I was pretty well known in important circles as a great Fidel Castro Joke teller.
That, like my ability to do a great Hubert Humphrey or Walter Brennan imitation, doesn't buy me many cups of coffee these days. But like ventriloquism, lost arts like that can come back to popularity. I will patiently wait and try not to be too rusty when my day in the sun arrives.
***A special thanks to my very cool ventriloquist friend Rey Ortega (yes, the Mystic Moment one) for his great postmortem advice after Week 1. After the first episode, the general feeling among my friends and family was that I needed professional help. So I asked Rey. That is what they meant, right?