Monday, June 7, 2010

Price rollback?

Dear NASA and President Obama:

I've been trying to work with you, haven't I?

Working through channels, waiting patiently for the application forms, filling them out, getting rejected, appealing the rejection, reapplying after six months, etc.

You know, doing the government thing.

And I considered it my patriotic duty, too. If I was to be the inaugural Ventriloquist in Space, I was going to win that honor fair and square, just like American should. My motto has been:

If I’m the ventriloquist going up, it’s going to be on the up and up.
So what’s this private company thing? This SpaceX Falcon 9 thing? I had to look up on the Google to find out that you’re letting a private company develop rocket technology to shoot stuff up into space. You’re thinking maybe it’s time we see if private industry can do it more “cost effectively.”

Does this mean that the Ventriloquist In Space Program (VISP) is going to become a “have your people call my people” deal? A who-knows-whose administrative assistant?

Am I going to wind up a sharing a space shower with some sci-fi fan who got to go because of contacts? A better iPhone than I have? Better social network apps?

I thought the most important question I could ask is what I could do for my country. With this private industry thing, I just have to practice having my monkey puppet say, “So when can we do lunch?”

As Desi Arnaz once said, "You got some 'xplainin' to do."  I humbly wait your reply.


Dan Bushman
Budding Astronaut
Budding Ventriloquist

PS:  Just watch this thing. Does ot look safe to you?  Chripes, it's on fire most of the time.

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