Saturday, May 8, 2010

Big Banger Theory

I borrowed my company's big pick-up truck for some wood chip hauling this weekend. Yes, it's a "big" pick-up truck. It's not a little pick-up truck or a medium pick-up truck.

It's a big f###ing (pardon my French*)  pick-up truck.

Because I'm a city kid by birth and nature, I can't really be more descriptive. I know that I have some regular readers will want to know how many cubic miles of engine it has. At least I know an engine is measured in cubic miles, (See, I'm not totally clueless.)

Oh yea, and it has a big engine. There's a decal on it that says V-8, and I know what that means. Eight cylinders in a V orientation: four on one side, four on the other.

It's an Eight Banger.

Back in high school, for about 6 weeks, I thought I might want to know about hot rods.It was right at the time that we were all getting our drivers licenses and some of my friends were getting cars.  Back in the mid 1970s, cars were all measured in bangers. My parent's car that I drove was a Ford Custom (a great boatlike familiy car) that had an Eight Banger.  My friend's 1972 Chevy Camaro muscle car was an Eight Banger. Those cars had top end power; much more than a six banger.

After the energy crisis of the 1970s, cars seeemed to immediately drop two bangers. And for the last 20 years, I've done my thing for keeping carbin footprint (and gasoline tab) small and driven Honda Civics to work.

I have never heard anyone say at all (much less with any pride) that they drive a four banger. It just doesn't say, "hey babe, wanna cruise?"

So I am having a blast sitting up high in the big pick-up truck and making those eight bangers roar.

And, I hereby declare the Ford F-150 pick-up the "Official Pick-up of the "Budding Ventriloquist (fill in the most current feature series name)". I can even make the pitch this way:
Imagine if you would have been "F-150, the Official Pick-up of the "Budding Ventriloquist Winter Olympic Coverage (TM)". That's international exposure you couldn't buy... until now.
I love the idea. Just love it.
Attention Ford Motor Company: You should be paying me money for this already. And no, Ford - I will not throw in naming rights. I will not make this the Ford Budding Ventriloquist Blog... for less than $1 million. I have pride and ethics.
* Does the phrase "Pardon my French" tell us that the French want to take credit for teaching the world to cuss? Don't get me started on the French again.  I'm working on being nice.
Truck people: don't write me and tell me about your pick-up trucks vis-a-vis the F-150. I'm happy that you care. I simply will not understand what you are talking about.

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