So as I carefully consider and reconsider the programming for the Vent Channel before I hit up venture capitalists big time, I do have to consider what is trendy.
I wouldn't call myself trendy. Believe this or not, my tastes do tend towards the nerdy, esoteric, and sometimes exotic, though there's I enjoy the more common, too. Like mango and mint; exotic and common, but both flavors add to pleasure to my life.
So as I lay out the program profile for the money men (or women), I can see their eyes light up as I explain the Vent Channel’s reality show:
The concept is simple;Chil-laxin’ with Dummy People *,**
- Brings much of ventriloquists to a mansion where they are forced to live together for months, doing everything together.
- One of the ventriloquists is not actually a ventriloquist, but a spy. His (or her) dummy is voiced my hidden microphone and speaks with the voice of a famous actor. (I wanted John Forsythe, the voice of Charlie on Charlie’s Angels, but he’s dead.)
- The ventriloquists don't have to be professionals. At least one should sound like Ozzie Osborne.
- Each week, one of the ventriloquists is forced out of the mansion by call in or text vote;
- Finally, they will go on a round-the-world race, where they are not allowed to leave nay country unless they perform ventriloquism for at least one police official.
**** Chil-Laxin' is a combination of "chilling out" and "relaxing". My teenage kids refuse to talk to me about "hip lingo", so I am only hoping this term is no more than 10 years old.
** Yea, I know. The title needs work. Not the chil-laxin' part; the "dummy" thing is what always comes out so demeaning.
***Dear Conan O'Brien:
I put you on the V Face List. (January 13, 2010)
I offered you your own show. (March 13, 2010).
I even offered you a four-day work week just like TBS did. In fact, I offered that first. I'm about ready to call out Ted Turner or his flunkies (henchmen?) about stealing my "only four nights" idea. I posted my offer to you it long before they pitched it. I know it. You know it. They know it.
Yea, I know. I don't have their kind of money. But I would have treated you like an artist.
The Vent Channel