Ironically, I thought it would be easier. My plan was to just run a known ventriloquist joke when I couldn't manage to write something orginal. Much to my surprise, after I ran the "sheep's a liar" joke and "the dumb blonde" joke, it took considerable patience to unearth (or do you say "un-surf" when it web searching) to find another one.
Yes, I was beginning to think there were only two ventriloquist jokes. But bust my buttons - there's three!
Here is the frog and the hampster joke:
A drunk was sitting in a bar, and says, "Bartender! Give me another drink."
The bartender shakes his head and says, "No you’re already drunk."
"Well," the drunk says. "How about if I show you something really neat? Then, will you give me another drink?"
"Ok," the bartender says. "It will have to be spectacular."
The drunk takes a small saxophone and a frog out of his pockets and sets them on the bar. The frog picks up the saxophone and starts playing a jazzy song. The bartender says that is worth a drink. The drunk guzzles it down, and asks for another drink.
"You can’t have another one," the bartender says. "You've had to many already."
"If you let me have another drink I'll show you more spectacular than the frog," says the drunk. The bartender laughs at the drunk but he agrees to give him just one more drink. The drunk pulls out a hamster and puts it up on the bar beside the frog. The frog begins to play the saxophone again, and the hamster begins to sing to the music. The bartender laughs, and sits another drink on the bar.
Another guy who was seated next to the drunk watching the show, says to him, "You've got an amazing team there. I'll give you $1,000,000 for them right now."
"They are not for sale," the drunk says.
"Ok, $1,000,000 just for the frog."
"He’s not for sale."
"Ok, $1,000,000 just for the hamster."
The drunk says ok, so the guy gives the drunk the money and walks out of the bar.
The bartender, shocked and confused asks the drunk, "Why did you sell the hamster? You broke up an amazing team!"
"No I didn’t," the drunk says. "You see, the frog's a ventriloquist.
***Yes, that's a logo for Blog Oleo. I guess Blog Oleo is here to stay.
Deal with it, America.
If you know a ventriloquist joke and want to help me out, email it to firstname.lastname@example.org. There's got to be at least one more out there.