Friday, April 23, 2010

100 and counting down...under

Just look at the baby. The countdown counter. It’s more accurate then a Timex. And it's taking a licking,  and keeping on ticking, too.

And it says we are at the magical milestone of 100 days until…


 Ventriloquists Down Under Week
Sponsored by Budding Ventriloquist


Who would that coverage team be? You know them, and you loved them during the Budding Ventriloquist Winter Olympic Coverage (TM):

Max LeMonk – will be returning from his spiritual retreats to add that special, wacky “LeMonk”ery that his fans worldwide love him for.

Steed Hideaway – that roguishly handsome rogue, TV quizmaster and local anchorman has recovered from the freakish curling accident that left his ears paralyzed and is ready for action, he’s read for anything, he’s … Steed.

Dan Bushman – the budding ventriloquist, budding astronaut, Programming Director for the Vent Channel, and most recently a seeker of mystic stuff.

What’s to prep for? It’s important that I learn to vent the local lingo to add zest to the coverage. So I’m practicing venting the following Australian phrases that I think will be important as the coverage takes shape:

Billabong: A waterhole.
Jumbuck: Sheep.
Make a good fist: to do (a task) well
Ocker: True Australian workingman; boorish, uncouth.
Yobbo: Loutish, surly youth.
You right mate: Are you OK?
Oz: Australia or Australian
Holy dooley!: An exclamation of surprise = "Good heavens!", "My goodness!" "Good grief!" or similar
Bunyip: A fictitious rabbit
Barbie: Barbecue

My Aussie ventriloquism practice phrase is:
Holy dooley, yobbos and ockers! You right mate? When we were getting the jumbuck down to the billabong, I thought I saw a bunyip. If we make a good fist, we'll have a barbie tonight.
 And so I don't slight the New Zealanders, here's some kiwi (that's slang for them!) phrases:

 Good on ya, mate! - congratulations, well done, proud of someone
On the never never - paying for something using layby, not paying straight away
Piece-of-piss - easy, not hard to do, as in "didn't take me long to do, it was a piece of piss"
Wop-wops - situated off the beaten track, out of the way location
Offsider - an assistant, someones friend, as in "we saw him and his offsider going down the road"
Chrissy pressies - Christmas presents


So with these valuable phrases, my Kiwi practice phrase is:
I needed to put my Chrissy pressy for my offsider on the never never. But it was a piece-of-piss to get to the wop-wops to tell my offsider, "Good on ya, mate!"
***
Don't even ask. I did not  make any of this up.

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