Wednesday, December 9, 2009

With a bow on it

Are women such shallow, simple-minded beings that a gift of highly-polished cut rocks sway their emotions? I think not.

To counter jewelry store advertising that runs non-stop during my (and my wife's, by the way) beloved football games, here are two commercial spots that speak to my heart's desire.

COMMERCIAL SPOT ONE
The snow is falling, and a young couple are holding hands. She's carrying a case. They stop in the middle of a Christmas decorated town square, and gaze into each other's eyes.

"I love you," he says with sweet sincerity. She puts the case down, and opens it, pulling out a full-size Charlie McCarthy dummy.

He beams, embracing her.

Voice Over: "Give the gift that says I love you"

Musical Voice Over:  "Every Dummy Begins with Duh"

COMMERCIAL SPOT TWO
 Two male roommates (apartment sharers?) are chatting about their romantic lives in their underwear. MAN 2 is doing a crossword puzzle.

MAN 1:  So, how was your date with Sharon?

MAN 2 (smiling):  Not to shabbly...

MAN 1:  Think you two are going to ... ya know... go out again?

MAN 2 (looking up from the crossword): What's a 25 letter word for Really Romantically Interested?

MAN 1 takes the crossword and starts filling in the letter, then verbalizes the answer: She.. got.. tickets... to...Terry...Fator

The camera focuses tight on the crossword, where the letters are handwritten in:

S H E G O T T I C K E T S T O T E R R Y F A T O R

MAN 2 proudly displays the two tickets. MAN 1's face lights.

Music swells.  The men squeal and hug.

Um....Or not.

Okay. The second one needs work. Maybe the first one, too.
***
If these commercials are successful, I hope to write more commercials to market things guys really want. Next up:  Gorilla suits.

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