Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tie a tie around an old oak tree?

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Eleven New Tuxedos

Ten Steady Gigs,
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Fans Applauding,
Seven Monkey Puppets,
Six Hours Practice

Five Funny Jokes

(Ja)eff Dunham Tickets,
Three Good Springs,
Two Moving Eyebrows,
And a full-sized ventriloquist dummy.

Any ventriloquist worth his salt dreams of playing playing Vegas, and a tuxedo is pretty much mandatory equipment.  But rather than throw out pictures of Jeff Dunham or Terry Fator to prove the "Vegas-Ventriloquist-Tuxedo" triumvirate, I see more the classic tuxedo images, like the Rat Pack or Tony Orlando and Dawn. 

True enough, my lasting image of Tony Orlando might just be due to hair envy.

I myself have a "pre-owned" tuxedo. Owning a tuxedo is not a luxury. And owning one that was only $5 at an estate sale was the buy of the century.  For $5, you can wear it to cub scout potlucks without a lot of "investment worry."

The last time I wore it was to President Obama's Inaugural back in January, which I attended via teleconference. Or tele-something.

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