Tuesday, December 1, 2009

2012 - Alternate Ending

And long after the earth has cracked under our hero's feet one last time...

And after the waters recede, and the sun is able to shine though the once ash-filled sky, and families are reunited, and once-perfect strangers fall in love and make pre-whoopie noises, and all the selfishness of those who wanted to check their decency at the door for the sake of their own necks has been forgotten, and the poor worker guy who almost criminally caused the whole survival plan to fail - because he loved his ma and pa and wanted to save them - becomes irrelevant to the epilogue so we just let him off the hook...

A bald eagle drops a Mortimer Snerd dummy at the feet of John Cusack and Amanda Peet, and the round of smiles and assured nods from the cast tell us this is a sign that humanity has truly survived the apocalypse. Hallelujah.

The bald eagle meets up with its mate and flies off.
Alternate, Alternate Ending
...And a darkish-skinned woman representing an unspecified ancient people glances at Mortimer Snerd, and notices how the face in the middle of the Mayan calendar she has in her hand looks a lot like a ventriloquist dummy.
My endings are pretty s-w-e-e-t, aren't they?

I love a good "alpha-omega" ending. Or is the Mayan/dummy face thing an "alpha-omega-alpha" ending?

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