Thursday, November 19, 2009

The final frontier

Terry Fator is not on the list.

Jeff Dunham is not on the list.

The list didn’t even exist in Paul Winchell’s day.

So what if Johnny Depp is People Magazine’s sexist of the 100 Sexiest Men Alive this year (and for the second time)? With no ventriloquist on the list and to my knowledge none having ever been on it, I have found yet another way I can break through barriers for all ventriloquismdum.

I hereby declare, with all the flourish of John Kennedy announcing we are going to the moon, that, before the end of this decade, I will be the first ventriloquist to make the People Magazine 100 Sexist Men Alive list.

Well… the next decade. It’s already November 2009 and I don’t have any vacation time left to work on it, and then there's the holidays, too. So that shoots the last month of this decade to hell.

So, before the end of the next decade…
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This is reminding me to write NASA again about how my proposed  Ventriloquist in Space program is progressing. I think being an astronaut as well as a ventriloquist would help a lot for getting on the list.
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When it does happen, the magazine sends a professional photographer over, right? Not that I don't think I cut a strappin' figure in swim trunks.

Yes. You heard me. Strappin'.

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