Thursday, October 15, 2009

In venting words

As I try getting used to calling a ventriloquist dummy simply a dummy, and every once in a while use the trade jargon "vent" as shorthand, there is a word play challenge I keep taking on.

At one point, I wanted to use an adjective to describe "related to ventriloquism." Like if Tom Selleck had played a ventriloquist private eye, his show would have been call Magnum, VPI (Ventriloqual Private Investigator). But "Ventriloqual" is clearly a new word (not known to Merriam or Webster), and sounded like something a drug company might be working on.

"Not throwing your voice like you used to?
Isn't it time you asked your doctor about Ventriloqual?

"Prescription Ventriloqual (bushmananddummyisum) is clinically proven to provide increased laughter and elevated levels of fun. In studies, nearly all patients showed significant improvement in overall happiness.

"As your doctor if you are healthy enough to have a dual personality.  Common side effects include slivers, hang nails, occasional tomatoes glancing off your scalp, and euphoria lasting more than 4 hours. Stop taking Ventriloqual if you experience anxiety when exposed to wood or puppets. Do not take Ventriloqual with a glass of water unless you've been taught the trick by an expert."


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